OMG! I LOST MY SHOE!
by did you say lightswitch
Summary: Matsuda, Light, L, Souchiro Yagami, Mogi, and whoever else I decide to add in: OMG! I LOST MY SHOE!...the title has absolutely nothing to do with the story, so don't let it scare you away...you'll just have to read to find out...READ AND REVIEW...ENJOY!
1. Matsuda

eh…I don't want to make any promises on this one…I'm bored out of my mind and I'm about ten minutes from going 100 psychotic…hopefully you guys will like this…if so, I'll write more chapters on it!

So read, review, enjoy!

Warning: I'm writing this when I'm half asleep in the middle of nowhere with no internet, or human life for that matter…there will be plenty of errors…sorry in advance…

Note: The bold stuff in the story are my additions…they explain further, and describe what I'm thinking **-as if that's anything-…**

Ok…have fun…

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_The room is semi-quiet. Matsuda is sitting in the corner in the fetal position muttering something about alien invaders __**–he watched a scary movie the night before-**__. L is, as always, on the computer researching Kira information, while he is also eating a whopping piece of super-duper chocolaty fudge volcano cake…yum…Light is sitting next to the underweight sweet-tooth, eyeing the chocolate cake with a nauseas look on his face. L leans over and offers Light a bite, causing Light to throw up. Souchiro Yagami is standing behind them with a confused look on his face __**–that tends to happen after L has said something particularly confusing-**__. Mogi is standing at the door acting all body- guard-bouncer-ish…Don't ask about MisaMisa…for all I care she's dead now…_

"…Aliens…they're…coming…for…me…."

"Matsuda, shut up." Light turns around to glare at Matsuda, but he spins a little too fast in his chair, causing the short chain connecting him to L to become restricted. L tumbles out of his seat, the cake flies out of his lap, Souchiro ducks, Mogi giggles **–yes, I know…that's physically impossible…- **, and the cake hits Matsuda square in the face.

"Ugh…the…aliens…are…trying…to…KILL ME!" Matsuda jumps up, blinded by the chocolate in his eyes, and runs out of the room.

"What was that all about?" Light looks particularly confused, since he hasn't figured out that the whole scene was indeed his fault.

L begins laughing hysterically. "I can't believe that idiot is in this group. Who invited him anyhow?"

Souchiro looks up seriously. "Matsuda is a highly qualified officer. He has worked under me for several years. He is a hard worker, a quick learner, and ambitious, too."

Mogi, who stopped giggling just about the second he began, turns to open the door, which had been knocked on during Souchiro's short speech. There is no one there.

"L, there is a problem in the left wing restroom. It seems as though Matsuda has somehow gotten his arm stuck in the toilet, and is ranting to the roll of toilet paper about a certain 'alien invader'…would you like me to go remove him?" Watari came over the computer. Clearly the noise that Mogi had heard was just L's new setting for his instant messenger on the computer.

L looked over to Light with an unsurprised facial expression. "Yes Watari. Please do so immediately. And also tell Matsuda to report to the room as soon as he has control over his behavior. I don't want a lunatic in here ranting about aliens."

_**Three hours, twenty minutes, and forty-seven seconds later**_

"Um…hello?" Matsuda reenters the room with a scared look on his face. He didn't know what to expect after doing something so stupid.

"Welcome back Matsuda. Come in and have a seat. I have something special planned." Matsuda walks in cautiously, wondering what L had planned for him, and what kind of damage it would do to him…

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Ok…so it's completely random and very confusing…the only point of this chapter is to open for the next one…I'm not too proud of this one…I hope that someone at least enjoyed it a little bit…

Please leave me a review…even if it is just to say you hated it, I don't care…I WANT FEEDBACK!...please give me advice/ ideas...criticism would be nice too...just don't poke my buttons too much...I might explode! Yup, and then you'll have a crazy teenager chasing you down the road with a giant toothpick...hey wait, wouldn't that be a tree?...

Coming up next: _What does L have in store for Matsuda? What kind of "surprise" can someone so socially awkward come up with?... _


	2. L's Surprise

Ok…time to continue…

Thanks for the reviews **-even though there were only 3...- **...I was kinda surprised that even that many people would like my prologue...I think that it was weak...

to Pineapple-Sister: yes, you are like dead meat to me... _(Pineapple-Sister smacks did you say lightswitch in the face with a blow-up hammer)_ ...um...SQUEAK?...No, no...I meant it in a nice way_...(slowly backs away...)..._you're like a giant, juicy, medium-rare steak_...(stomach growls)..._um_...(did you say lightswitch drops the laptop and runs out the door and down the road towards Pineapple-Sister's house...she knew it was inevitable that the giant steak would be on her computer...wait I mean Pineapple-Sister would be on her computer...um...)_...mmmm...dinner..._(aw...you know you're important...: D...you're just a lazy bum...hey wait...did I say that out loud?)_

Note: I am NOT promoting cannibalism...or carnivorism for that matter...go be healthy and eat some broccoli!...

I hope everyone likes this one better…I suppose it should move along and be more interesting…

Oh yes, and to all MisaMisa fans, I DON'T LIKE HER and I WILL bash her…I'd suggest for you to not read this, or to ignore my rantings about her…

Oh, and just for everyone who thinks I'm being mean to Matsuda, HE'S MY FAVORITE!...I'm just a mean person…

Now onto the story!

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**Chapter 2**

**L's Surprise**

"Um…hello?" Matsuda reenters the room with a scared look on his face. He didn't know what to expect after doing something so stupid.

"Welcome back Matsuda. Come in and have a seat. I have something special planned." Matsuda walks in cautiously, wondering what L had planned for him, and what kind of damage it would do to him

Matsuda walks over to where Light, L, Mogi, Souchiro, Aizawa –**who just got back from running some necessary errands-**, and MisaMisa **–whom I could care less about, but couldn't resist inviting-** sat on the floor.

"Um…what are you guys doing on the floor?"

"Come and join us, Matsuda!" L nearly jumps up with excitement **–clearly the sugar gets to him after a while…-** and patts the floor next to him.

"Um…ok…" Matsuda sits down cautiously, not quite sure what to think.

L bounces up and down. "Ok… I'm pretty sure the game is called truth and dare…anyhow, one person goes first, which would be the lovely person to my left…" L points to an angry-looking Light. "Well…he'll ask someone truth or dare and…"

"L, we know the game…" Light breaks in. "I'll go first. Mogi. Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

"Have you ever smiled before?"

Mogi stops to think. "Hmm…I think once when I was like 2."

Light's eyes get big. He never expected a sincere answer like that.

Mogi looks up, not smiling, of course. "So, would that make it my turn?"

"Yes!" L nearly screamed at Mogi.

"Ok…MisaMisa. Truth or Dare?"

"Ooh…Dare!"

'I dare you to get a life!" **–ok…so that didn't happen…I wish so, though…here's the real dare:-** "I dare you to…go call Watari and tell him he's a sexy beaver."

"Ok!" MisaMisa jumps up and runs over to the phone. "Mr. Watari?,,,Yes this is MisaMisa…yes, Misa knows she isn't supposed to call your personal line…why did Misa call?...she wanted to tell you that you are a sexy beaver!...ok, bye!" MisaMisa hangs up the phone and plops down on the floor.

"What the hell is a 'sexy beaver?'" Light wanted to know.

Mogi looks, well, Mogi-ish. "I don't know. It was the first thing that came to mind."

"It's Misa's turn!" Misa yelled excitedly. "Misa wants Light-kun to choose Truth or Dare!"

"Um…truth…"

"Aw…ok…Has Light-kun ever not been cute?"

"No."

"L! You can't answer for Light-kun!"

"Oh…sorry…I couldn't resist."

Light looks disgusted –everyone **knew something was going on between Light and L, but Light still tried to cover it up-.** "Well, actually, I went through a fat stage when I was little. And it wasn't cute baby fat…"

MisaMisa looks unbelievably surprised. "No way!"

"Ok…Now it's my turn. Hm…Dad. Truth or Dare?"

"Oh…No…I couldn't play. That's not something I'd like to do. I'm too old for this…"

"Dad, stop with the excuses. It might make you a possibility as Kira if you act suspiciously. So I'll say it again: Truth or Dare?"

"Fine. Truth."

"Hm…do you think I'm Kira?" Everyone looks startled, including Souchiro.

"Well, truthfully, it depends. I have at some points." Souchiro bows his head. "I'm sorry son."

"No problem. I understand that you must wonder sometimes. L makes it seem so possible. But don't worry anymore dad. I'm not Kira."

"Ok Souchiro. It's your turn!" L was literally jumping up and down.

"Alright. Aizawa. Truth or Dare?"

"Dare…"

"I dare you…wait what is a good dare?"

"Make him take off his clothes and stand on his head!" L looks so excited, it truly is scary.

"Misa does NOT want to see that. How about making him shave his head? His pretty hair doo is gone anyhow." MisaMisa looks disgusted **–good let her be!-**

"Ok. I'll go with Misa's. Aizawa, I dare you to shave your head." Souchiro looks very proud of himself as Aizawa unwillingly shaves his head.

"It's so my turn now. Matsuda. Truth or Dare?"

"Um…Truth…" Matsuda seriously looks like he is about to cry **–aw, poor idiot…-.** He glances around at the others, remembering the stuff that they have been literally forced to do. He wishes he hadn't come back today.

"Ok! FINALLY! Matsuda, what is your deepest, darkest secret?" Aizawa leans forward, as does everyone else. Matsuda looks distraught, and begins to sweat.

"Um…."

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dunh…Dunh…DUNH!

Ok! So I hope everyone enjoyed this…it definitely was fun to write…

WRITE REVIEWS PLEASE! **me wants 5...ugh...**

Next time: _What is Matsuda's deepest, darkest secret? What will happen when everyone hears? When will I stop typing?_**–wait that one isn't part of the story…-**


	3. Matsuda's Secret

Ooh…Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad people are enjoying it…Hopefully this one will be liked as much…

to Pineapple-Sister: gawsh...be that way...take ALL of my insults as compliments...jeez...you're making my self esteem fall so far down, I don't think I even WANT to pick it up now...it's too much work bending over...: D...

so, to everyone else: Please review! maybe it will pick my self esteem up for me...: D...

Enjoy…

RaWr!

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**Chapter 3**

**Matsuda's Secret**

"It's so my turn now. Matsuda. Truth or Dare?"

"Um…Truth…" Matsuda seriously looks like he is about to cry **–aw, poor idiot…-.** He glances around at the others, remembering the stuff that they have been literally forced to do. He wishes he hadn't come back today.

"Ok! FINALLY! Matsuda, what is your deepest, darkest secret?" Aizawa leans forward, as does everyone else. Matsuda looks distraught, and begins to sweat.

"Um…."

" 'Um' is not a secret. Spill…now…"

"Ok…well…you see…"

"Just get to the point!" Aizawa is getting anxious and is clearly the most impatient person in the room. Matsuda's face turns a deeper red as he tries to begin again.

"Well…um…I…I…I don't like MisaMisa like everyone thinks I do. I really think that she is a shallow, conceited bitch**." –yay! Matsuda finally listened to my suggestions!...wait…I'm the writer…crap…-** MisaMisa jumps up angrily, and everyone bursts into laughter, well except Souchiro, Misa, and, of course, Mogi. Matsuda turns an even deeper red. Aizawa looks disappointed.

"That couldn't possibly be your only secret. It's not even a real secret. It's just a little one."

"Well, it isn't. It's only the first part of my secret…" Matsuda looks crestfallen. He was hoping that they would accept that as his secret. Everyone stops laughing and look up at Matsuda, now extremely curious at how someone so easy to read could have such a detailed secret.

"Continue please!" L says exactly what everyone was thinking **–as always…-**

"Ok…Well, I…um…I'm not as stupid as you guys think I am…" –**everyone looks surprised, even me…how could he NOT be stupid?...he's so cute when he's stupid…ok…on with the story!-**

"I…I try to act stupid to get noticed…" Matsuda is, by this point, a red color about the darkness of a tomato mixed with a plum.

"Noticed by whom?" **–guess who said that!...yup, none other than our very own Mogi!-**

"Well…the person I like…" Poor Matsuda. By now he is no longer a red color. He's green.

"Who?" They ALL yell at Matsuda simultaneously. They all are leaning forward so far that they may as well be touching noses. **–oh, yeah. MisaMisa left right after Matsuda's first secret…but who could possibly care about that?-**

"Well…it's…um…" Just as Matsuda is about to say the name of his beloved crush, Watari comes over the computer.

"L. There is an emergency situation. An intruder has somehow found access to the food storage room." L jumps up, extremely concerned.

"Which food storage room?" He practically yells at the computer.

"Well, I'm sorry to inform you that it is the fats, oils, and sweets. However, the cake room has not been disturbed."

"NO!!!!!" L drops to the floor in tears. Soon enough he is in the fetal position sucking his thumb. "I NEED sugar to survive!"

"I'm sorry Matsuda. It looks like your secret will just have to be revealed after this little mishap is taken care of." Light says sadly. Matsuda looks overjoyed. Aizawa looks confused. Mogi looks, well, Mogi-ish. Souchiro looks sad, even though he tried to cover it up. L looks distraught over the loss of his closest friend, and only companion, the sugary objects downstairs.

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So…how did you like it? Well…whatever your answer was to that BETTER be written in a review…

Before I post the next chapter I better have 10 reviews…yup, 10…I don't care if they are criticism…in fact, I would like some criticism! It truly helps to continue writing…

Yeah…sorry the chapter turned out a little short…I'll make the next one longer…:D

Next time: _What is Matsuda's final part of his secret? Who does he like? Will L ever recover? Will I get all of my reviews?_ **–I BETTER!-**


	4. L's Intruders

Thanks to those who have reviewed...I can't see why it is soooo hard to get a few more reviews...I DIDN'T EVEN GET 5!...well, anyhow...

Pineapple-Sister: Rawr!

To everyone else...Pineapple-Sister is my new editor...well, my only editor...so, if there are any errors from here on out...IT'S HER FAULT!..-**points across the room at Pineapple-Sister, who just shrugs and says "who, me?"...-**

and to all readers who are having an issue that I like to call "the spontaneous spotting of purple elephants" : um...it has absolutely nothing to do with my story **-backs up into the wall and scoots out of the room-**

and last but not least, I'd like to say something to my friend, FullMetal Alchemistress : "LIGHTSWITCH!" **-sorry to everyone who has no idea why "lightswitch" is so amazing...you people just wouldn't understand...-**

alright, I'll stop with my pointless ramblings...

Enjoy the story!

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**Chapter 4**

**The Intruder**

"NO!!!!!" L drops to the floor in tears. Soon enough he is in the fetal position sucking his thumb. "I NEED sugar to survive!"

"I'm sorry Matsuda. It looks like your secret will just have to be revealed after this little mishap is taken care of." Light says sadly. Matsuda looks overjoyed. Aizawa looks confused. Mogi looks, well, Mogi-ish. Souchiro looks sad, even though he tried to cover it up. L looks distraught over the loss of his closest friend, and only companion, the sugary objects downstairs.

"Well, I guess we should head downstairs to rescue L's precious sugar." Light looks bored as he says this. **–Everyone was truly curious about whom Matsuda could possibly like…- **Everyone stands up with Light, and they all follow him out the door. Matsuda is, of course, trailing in the rear. He was just about the darkest shade of red and was continuously looking from side to side for an escape route. Poor Matsuda was simply relieved that he didn't have to share his secret just yet.

_The group ends up in the basement, after traveling down 14 sets of stairs __**-truthfully, the building is only 7 stories high, but Light purposely turned them around and got them lost. He enjoyed seeing L tremble and suffer: he just couldn't survive without his sugar.-**__ The basement is dank and dark. Matsuda immediately begins mumbling about the alien invaders again. Clearly, in the movie, the aliens attack the innocent teenagers in the basement of their suburban home. Light simply turns to glare at Matsuda, and they all begin moving again. The basement is set up in a series of tunnels, passageways, and dead ends. L explains that this was to keep intruders from finding his candy. **–Obviously that didn't work…-** After getting the group lost for the umpteenth time, Light decides to pass on the duties of leading the group to L. **–this should have been done long ago, because Light has never traveled this particular route before, and L goes down here about 27 times a day.-** Soon enough they reach a long hallway. The walls are covered in licorice, and the doorways are made of icing. Gumdrops stand in for lights on the ceiling. **–don't even get me started on the chocolate fountains in the middle of the hallway.-** Light is having trouble breathing, and has already thrown up 3 times. _

"Here we are!" L says triumphantly, as they reach the end of the hallway. **–Poor Light is an interesting shade of green.-**

_The door in front of them was slightly cracked open. **–the door itself was made of gingerbread…go figure…- **A trail of cookie crumbs was lain on the floor, starting at the doorway. Carefully, L grabbed a sharpened giant candy cane from a door to the side. **–Light glanced in that room and say that it was filled with weapons made out of candy.-** L slowly pushed open the door to reveal the intruder**…-scary theme music starts playing…-**_

"Wow, L, what a terrifying intruder." Light says to L with sarcasm practically dripping off each and every word.

"Hey, they're eating all of my white chocolate macadamia nut cookies!...whatever, they are the healthy ones anyhow…" L seems calm enough until he notices the intruders munching on a giant, triple chocolate, ooey-gooey, fudgy cookie. "No! Not my super cookie! That took 99 bakers from all over the world to create!" L breaks down in tears, and whips out his cell phone.

"Watari! I need the best exterminators in the universe to get rid of the intruders! Yes! Call them NOW!..." Light is laughing hysterically in the back ground along with Aizawa. Matsuda looks like he is about to cry, Souchiro still looks all serious, and Mogi is, of course, still Mogi-ish.

The smallest of the intruders glances up at the 6 humans hovering over it. Its little ears twitch, and its fluffy tail curls over in the cutest little way. The intruders, 12 little baby squirrels, slowly start to move towards L, who smells so sugary, the room and hallway are like lemons compared to his sugary stench.

"EEK! The intruders are going to get me!" L takes off running in the other direction with 12 hungry looking squirrels chasing after him. Matsuda is laughing.

"'The intruders are going to get me!' 'Oh no! I'm scared of baby squirrels!' 'EEK!'" Matsuda is having so much fun mocking L, that he hardly notices Aizawa putting an alien mask on. "Who would have guessed that L would have such a stupid fear?" Matsuda turns around and comes face to face with Aizawa in an alien mask.

"EEK! THE ALIEN INVADERS ARE GOING TO GET ME!" Matsuda takes off in the same direction as L. Aizawa immediately starts laughing.

"Um, Light?"

"Yes, Watari?"

"L has fled the building with a pack of small squirrels following him. Matsuda, on the other hand, has somehow or another gotten himself stuck on the roof of the building."

"Jeez! I'm always going to have to be the one to take care of the stupid issues with everyone!"

"Light, since L is no longer in the building, you are in charge. What would you like me to do?"

"Hm…Watari, you are in charge of getting Matsuda off the roof. You seem to be good at getting him to become, well, unstuck. Mogi, you and I will go after L, and rescue him from the squirrels. Dad, Aizawa, you two will be in charge of continuing our investigation until we all return. I have no clue how long all of this could possibly take…"

_**About three miles away from the building…**_

"Stupid…intruders…I have foiled you!" L pants as he crawls further down the road. **–he isn't much of a runner, and his sugar rush wore off soon enough…-**

"Must...escape…from squirrels…" L continues crawling, as countless onlookers stare at the psychotic creature crawling down the road. One onlooker pulls out a cell phone and calls the nearest padded-wall asylum…

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Ooh…what could happen next?

REVIEWS!...I NEED REVIEWS!

Ok…so maybe 10 was a little much…I'll go back to 5…maybe for once I'll actually get all of them...wink wink nudge nudge

Next Time: _What will happen to L? Will Matsuda ever recover from his second alien invader attack? Will Matsuda ever reveal who he likes? Will I stop leaving the story on a cliffhanger?_


	5. Escape

Sorry this is SO VERY LATE!...I am sooo sorry that it took so long…I BLAME MY EDITOR!

Special thanks to:

#1: All of my reviewers! I couldn't keep writing if I didn't have some encouragement…

#2: My lovely editor, and best friend, Pineapple-Sister! She is editing even when she is on vacation!...

If there are any grammatical or spelling errors they are NOT MY FAULT!...do what I always do…blame Pineapple-Sister!

I need reviews…please tell me if I should continue after the next chapter…or not…

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**Chapter 5**

**Escape…**

_**Where we left L**_

"Stupid…intruders…I have foiled you!" L pants as he crawls further down the road. –**he isn't much of a runner, and his sugar rush wore off soon enough…**-

"Must...escape…from squirrels…" L continues crawling, as countless onlookers stare at the psychotic creature crawling down the road. One onlooker pulls out a cell phone and calls the nearest padded-wall asylum…

_**Where we left, well, everyone else**_

"Hm…Watari, you are in charge of getting Matsuda off the roof. You seem to be good at getting him to become, well, unstuck. Mogi, you and I will go after L, and rescue him from the squirrels. Dad, Aizawa, you two will be in charge of continuing our investigation until we all return. I have no clue how long all of this could possibly take…" **-for those of you who haven't noticed, Matsuda is stuck on the roof…details can be found in chapter 4…-**

**Now onto the story!**

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"Um…Hello?...Anyone?...Please?...I'M NOT CRAZY!" _L was, as I'm sure you could guess, locked in a small, nicely padded room. __**–where I am sure I, my editor, and probably most of my readers, will eventually end up…- **__Our investigator was pulled from the streets by a group of well trained, very well paid professionals. L was chanting something incoherent about scary little baby squirrels, while the professionals, as well as the crowd, was positive he was hallucinating. __**–however, you and I both know that L indeed wasn't delusional, unless I am delusional…which hasn't been proved…since this whole story was indeed my delusions, we will just say that L is, for the most part, sane…- **__L, on the other hand, was currently going crazy due to the straight jacket, and because the room looked as though it had been designed by MisaMisa. The walls were hot pink, and he was surrounded by large-eyed, possessed-looking stuffed animals. L was positive that they were going to eat him. __**–he was ranting about the man-eating stuffed animals and the slowly tightening walls, which made the professionals believe even more that he was crazy…of course they haven't met MisaMisa, who would indeed drive a person into pure insanity…- **_

"Please let me go! I need to catch Kira!"

"Gosh, now that guy thinks he is going to catch Kira…how insane could a person be? And, anyhow, his sugar content in his blood is past the legal limit." One of the workers says as he passes the room with another worker, a calm-looking woman.

"Since when has there been a legal limit of sugar content in the blood?"

"There isn't…but since it seems nearly impossible for a person to consume enough sweets so that their blood is 89 percent sugar, I'm going to assume that we could say that he is a danger to the public."

"89 percent?! How in the world…"

"He must eat only sugary substances…"

"Maybe we could call a dietitian?"

"NO, NOT A DIET!" L, who was listening to the whole conversation, screams.

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_**Light and Mogi: L's rescue!**_

"…he's about yeh tall, with dark circles under the eyes, unruly black greasy hair, no shoes, a constant sugar rush…" Light and Mogi have arrived!

"Oh, yes…he's here…" Another worker leads Light and Mogi to L's room. As soon as L sees them, he starts letting out a constant stream of words. "The squirrels! Fuzzy, huge, big tail, beady eyes…they want my sugar! Giant squirrels, man-eating, killer, the squirrels!...they're gonna get me!..."

"Wow, L, be quiet! We know about the damn squirrels…" Light looks very unhappy to be freeing L, but nowhere near as unhappy as the workers. None of them think that the lunatic could possibly be safe enough to have on the public streets. Light has trouble convincing them to release the poor investigator. He tries to convince him that he was an escaped patient from his asylum. After about the tenth try with the same story **–he kept telling it, just in different ways…-**, the professionals finally agree to let L go, on the conditions that Light must take him to a dietitian and then lock him up, complete with padded room and straight jacket.

"FREEDOM!" L runs out of the asylum, and starts kissing the ground.

"L, stop NOW. We need to get back to the room." Light says to L without even looking down at him. Mogi, silent as always, just stands there looking Mogi-ish.

"Oh, right! Matsuda has to tell us his secret!" Light, who was thinking more along the lines of the investigation, attempts to argue with him, but he truly hopes that L can find a convincing reason as to why Matsuda's secret must be revealed. **–Light wants to know who Matsuda likes…I want to know too…- **

Finally, Light agrees with L. **–It is clear that Light is trying to hide that he is super anxious to return…-**

"Off to the room!" L yells all super-hero-ish. Light rolls his eyes, and Mogi follows the two silently.

_**On the roof**_

"Aliens…they want to…suck out my brains with bendy straws!" **–Hmm…guess who?-**

"Matsuda-san, Light has requested that I remove you from the roof." Watari says very calmly.** –he looks like he is trying to cover up the hysterical laughter that wants to break loose, but he is good at it…I would assume that after spending years of looking after L, he has seen some VERY funny stuff…- **

"But…the aliens…"

"Aliens do not exist. They are just a figment of your imagination. However, the secret that you are about to reveal isn't. I would suggest that you should focus on how you are going to explain whom you like to the rest of the investigators." What Watari said definitely affects Matsuda. He shuts up immediately, and starts thinking about what he will say.

_Watari and Matsuda get into the elevator and begin to descend to the correct level. Matsuda is muttering to himself and looks particularly stressed. Eventually __**–after a whopping 3 minutes in the elevator…ooh, so, how to say it…long…- **__they make it to the floor and precede to take the long walk…about 5 yards…towards the room. Matsuda is sweating buckets by now and his face has returned to that prune-tomato color. They get to the room and reach up to knock on the door when L yanks it open mid knock. __**–gosh, is he psychic or what?-**_

"Good, now that we are all here, you can tell us your secret!" L nearly wets himself with excitement. Everyone scoots closer to Matsuda. **–yes, I really would want to see Soichiro and Mogi scoot…is it possible?- **

"Who does Matsuda like?" Everyone practically yells simultaneously…

"Ok…I guess I can't find a way out of it." Matsuda turns to see if he could run out the door, but Mogi had moved behind him. –**yay! Mogi's bouncer-ish body build has finally been put to use!**-

"I like…---"

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Mwahahaha…

_Pineapple-Sister: __**-hits me over the head with a large pointy stick- **__BAM!_

_Me…: um…what was that for?...and why in the world did YOU say bam?_

_Pineapple-Sister: __**-shrugs and hits me over the head with the stick again-**__ BEEP!_

_Me…: beep…_

_Pineapple-Sister: hey did you hear that echo?_

_Me…: __**-growls at Pineapple-Sister...-**__ run…now…_

I PROMISE that I will tell you who Matsuda likes next time!...

Ok, so I'm not sure if I will continue after next chapter…I have plenty of ideas, but I NEED YOUR OPINION!...leave a review PLEASE!

Next Time: _Who does Matsuda like? Will L ever recover from his squirrel attack? Will Matsuda ever lose his fear of aliens?_


	6. Matsuda's Super Duper Secret!

Yay! Thanks for the reviews! You guys are amazing!

Ok…so for what we all have been waiting for…who does our lovely little Matsuda like?

I just want to say that –**I'm sorry readers…:(****…- **if you don't like slash, then I'd suggest that you don't read this…

And, just because I feel like it, I'm making this one a Matsuda point-of-view…: D

If there is anything wrong, well, I suppose that this time it's mostly my fault…

I was impatient and didn't feel like waiting for both my editors…

Editors! Pineapple-Sister and arirang! Yay!

Enjoy!

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**Chapter 6**

**Matsuda's Super Duper Dark Secret Revealed**

"Ok…I guess I can't find a way out of it." I turn around to see if I could possibly escape from the room. Of course, Mogi is in my way. Gosh I hate how huge he is. –**yay! Mogi's bouncer-ish body build has finally been put to use!**-

"I like…---" My throat closed up around the words I was trying to say. I felt as if I was being run over by a truck. How could I say it? I DON'T WANT TO! ERG! Why does that L have to be so damn annoying…what with his 'Let's play truth or dare!' attitude. ICK!...how…to…escape…

"Just spit it out!" Jeez. Even Aizawa is getting over excited. How to escape? Hmmm…the door? …no, Mogi's in the way…the window?...no, too far away…ooh, the air duct! That's perfect…ok, I've just gotta jump when no one's looking…1…2…3…

"Giant purple penguin!" I yell the first thing that comes to mind and I point at the opposite corner of the room. JUMP! …rats…Light and Soichiro are still staring at me. HA! L and Aizawa looked over there! Too bad…I've just gotta think of something else…hm…

"Stop with the retarded tricks, Matsuda. Just get on with the telling…" Damn, he's so amazing. I love him with all my heart. I wish I could just say his name…it's too hard. I…I just can't DO IT! Ugh. I make myself sick! I'm such a turtle…I get scared and go back under that damn shell. And when I'm not scared, I move around the truth so slowly, that by the time I get to it…erg! I'm back in the shell!

"Well, um…I can't." There, at least I'm not trying to make up stupid excuses. Hmm…that's right, I need an excuse…what about: my dog ate my homework. Yeah, that's sooo smart, Matsuda. Reasons why that won't work: #1: I don't have a dog, and they all know it… #2: That's like the oldest excuse in the book… #3: Hmm…it's to get out of saying who I like, not homework! Now, I could say: my dog ate my tongue, but that one would be so obvious, since, well, I'd have to talk to say it…I've got it! I've gotta go to the bathroom. Ok, let's rehearse that one. I've gotta go to the bathroom. I've…gotta…go…to…the…bathroom...I'vegottagotothebathroom. Ok, here it goes.

"Ahmfegodteygrowtade bathroom!" WTF? 'Ahmfegodteygrowtade!' Holy crap! How retarded can you sound? Look at his lovely face…he looks disgusted, yet unsurprised.

"Um, English please? We don't speak Japanese." **–heehee, that was something I had to add. Of course, it is obvious that they all would speak Japanese, since, well, they are in Japan…sorry to all Japanese people whom I may have offended…-** Oh, great. They didn't understand my rambling. Let's try again.

"Me go potty." Wow, am I four again?

"Um…ok, but please go to the restroom first…" Aww…he's sooo cute when he's sarcastic! Now to escape... **–don't worry readers, he won't get far…:D- **Ok, left out the door, twenty paces down the hall...which way to the front…Oh gosh, I'm LOST! Alright let's see…which way did I come? Right out the door, left at the next hallway, 45 paces…ok backtracking isn't working. I'll just keep going straight down this hall. Maybe Watari will find me…

_**Back in the room with well, everyone except Matsuda**_

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"Wow, Matsuda has been gone for a long time." Aizawa is actually surprised at the fact that it could take someone that long to go to the bathroom.

"He probably got lost." Light didn't look surprised at all when Watari came up on the computer. "See, he IS lost."

"L, I just found Matsuda wandering completely lost in the left wing of the building. He was mumbling to himself about some 'super cute adorable' guy. Would you like me to retrieve him?"

"This seems to be a new tradition here for Matsuda. Maybe we should get a smaller building? Yes, Watari, please get him, and bring him back here immediately. We NEED to find out who he likes!" L was, as always, jumping up and down and eating doughnuts. **-The icky powdered sugar kind. So, as I'm sure you all can guess, the powdered sugar was all over his face, hands, hair –don't ask-, and clothes.- **

_**Not too long later**_

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Yup. You guessed it right, Matsuda. Watari found you, as always. What, am I talking to myself? Weird…yup, that's what I am. Oh no! We're here! The room…the deadly, scary room…think about something else…hmmm…purple elephants, flying pigs, have you ever noticed that during awkward silences all you can think about is ravioli…or is that just me?…ugh, I'm sweating in places that I've never sweated before! I don't want him to see me sweaty! What if I smell funny? Drat, I sound like a little girl worrying over her first crush…I've had crushes before, just not like this…My crushes were always so normal, so by the book. This one is so, I don't know, undefined. So…unacceptable? I mean, it's one thing that it's a guy that I like, but he's so different. He's my complete opposite. Argh…I just want him to like me back. But he never will if I don't say it out loud. Just say the name, Matsuda. They will laugh, they'll point, they'll make fun of me…whatever! Just let them act that way! I don't care anymore!

_**Out of POV…well, mostly so I can describe the scene**_

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_Matsuda walks into the room, and everyone looks up. L is sitting in his computer chair in his precarious way and is eating a large chocolate éclair. Light is on the couch in the room, lying with his legs and arms sprawled out in a relaxed, patient way. Soichiro is sitting in a straight-backed wooden chair looking all serious. Aizawa is impatiently pacing the room. Mogi was, as always, standing all body-guardish at the door, awaiting Matsuda's much anticipated arrival._

"Sooo…"

"No, don't talk, L. I just need to say it on my own." Matsuda cuts L off mid-sentence.

"I like Light. There I said it. I'm in love with Light-san!" Matsuda is bright red, yet seemingly proud of himself. L stands up, clearly angered.

"Get out! NOW!" L screams at the top of his lungs at the slowly retreating Matsuda. Everyone stares at the investigator who is shaking with fury.

"What? I don't want any distractions from our investigation." L tries to cover up his irritation with a quickly thought up excuse.

"Sure…" Light rolls his eyes.

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Ok, I hope you guys liked it!

Please leave a review if you want me to continue! I'm not quite sure if I will continue yet, but if you guys want me to, I will.

Tell me what you think!

_Me…: OMG! I have the greatest joke to tell you!_

_Pineapple-Sister: __**-to herself-**__ oh great… __**-out loud-**__ ok, shoot._

_Me…: Ok, so there's a lawyer, a doctor, and a dumb blonde…or was it a teacher, a sanitation engineer, and a dumb blonde…no, wait…it has to be a computer, a penguin, and a dumb blonde…_

_**Six and a half hours later**_

_Me…: I've got it! So there's a dog, a pansy, and a rock…wait, what about the dumb blonde…_

_Pineapple-Sister: …I think I figured out who the dumb blonde is… __**-falls asleep-**_

Sorry about my pointless random ramblings…

Well, please give me feedback!

-RaWr-


	7. Nuts

Oh my goodness…everyone…I am SOOOO very sorry that it has been so long. I am SUCH a bad person for not updating.

Trust me I have reasons for not updating. I will list these here just for the heck of it…

#1: a terrific place called Music Camp!...no computer for a week…but, trust me, I still wrote!

#2: MARCHING BAND!...well, that started today…but, it will make it difficult to write for a week…I'll update as soon as I can…

#3: Harry Potter…yup, just about the BEST book in the planet…

#4: I was deathly sick with two horrible diseases: Procrastination & Laziness…

Ok…now that you know why I'm late in typing this…here is your chapter!

Lots and lots of thanks to my beta: Pineapple-Sister! Yay! She helped me write this chapter…

Oh…check out my new story…it's a Naruto fanfic…sorry…not Death Note…I needed a change…oh, yeah, and my lovely beta is my co-writer for the other story…

ENJOY!...and review…

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_**Last time…just in case you forgot…**_

_Matsuda walks into the room, and everyone looks up. L is sitting in his computer chair in his precarious way and is eating a large chocolate éclair. Light is on the couch in the room, lying with his legs and arms sprawled out in a relaxed, patient way. Soichiro is sitting in a straight-backed wooden chair looking all serious. Aizawa is impatiently pacing the room. Mogi was, as always, standing all body-guardish at the door, awaiting Matsuda's much anticipated arrival._

"Sooo…"

"No, don't talk, L. I just need to say it on my own." Matsuda cuts L off mid-sentence.

"I like Light. There I said it. I'm in love with Light-san!" Matsuda is bright red, yet seemingly proud of himself. L stands up, clearly angered.

"Get out! NOW!" L screams at the top of his lungs at the slowly retreating Matsuda. Everyone stares at the investigator who is shaking with fury.

"What? I don't want any distractions from our investigation." L tries to cover up his irritation with a quickly thought up excuse.

"Sure…" Light rolls his eyes.

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_**About…um…let's say 5 minutes later...yah…that sounds good**_

_**L's POV!**_

"_I love Light…" _How? How…ugh…that…that…MATSUDA! I HATE that guy now with the burning passion of a thousand suns… **-that was stolen from one of my lovely guard friends…I mean it isn't HERS per say…but, she ALWAYS says that, so, of course, it isn't mine…-** He is so…queer…that queer pansy…well, I mean…I suppose I'm not too much better myself…but still…How could he like MY Light?!? Yes! That's right! MINE! Mine…I like how that sounds. Mine. My Light, my room, my team, my research, my sugar, my napkin, my pickle, my banana peel…wait, I HATE bananas…they are so…healthy…

"…so maybe we should replace our circuit breakers so that the power doesn't keep going out…"

"Ew…healthy…everything _healthy _is sooo disgusting…"

"Um…L do you have a problem with our circuit breakers? Wait…what is healthy about circuit breakers? Better yet, what is ANYTHING…healthy or unhealthy…about circuit breakers?...L…what are you talking about?"

And then there is REALLY disgusting healthy food like eggplants and pineapples. **–sorry, arirang…pineapples are SO disgusting…I mean, just ask Pineapple-Sister…ew…pineapples…they are so up there with mushrooms…- **Especially eggplants. I mean, not only are eggs disgusting, but plants are for rabbits. Put them together and it spells disaster. Well, actually it spells eggplant. E-A-G-P-L-E-A-N-T-E…wait…did I spell that wrong?...Whatever. Plants…gawsh those are for RABBITS! Fluffy, poofy, white, stinky, red-eyed, scrunchy-nosed, vicious rabbits. Yup, those rabbits just go hand in hand with those giant, rabies-invested squirrels.

"…and there have been at least 19 deaths by heart attack in the last 20 minutes. Obviously something is making it very easy for Kira to kill…"

"STAY AWAY FROM MY SUGAR!"

Those damn squirrels…nibbling on my nerds ropes, nesting in my cotton candy, pooping in my fudge collection, and, worse of all, hiding there nuts in my nut-shaped sugar cubes. **–YES…cubes that are nut-shaped…gosh…just like balls that are cube-shaped…get it straight…or sideways…whatever…-**

I mean what's their problem anyhow. _Squirrels..._ They have their nuts and I have my sugar. Well, I mean, I have my nut-shaped sugar…but that's different…Man, I want those nuts. Light's of course. **–what are you talking about? I'm not implying anything at all. Light just has a nice, large, and VERY edible bag of sugar coated peanuts dangling in L's face…gawsh…get your head out of the gutter…-**

"…so once the files have been opened…"

"Yup…those are some nice nuts…" _Everyone turns to look at L, clearly wondering why the hell L was saying such random crap. Ever since Matsuda left the room…_

"Um, L, would you like to explain how 'nuts' could have anything to do with the files on the Kira case?" _Light acts calmly, while everyone else is looking expectantly at L. L looks insanely nervous. _**–goodness, what kind of trouble has our wonderful little detective managed to get himself into now…-**

Oh no. What to do…? Hm…let's think. Nuts, files…ugh…what if he shut his nuts in a filing cabinet? Man, they'd be crushed. What good would they be then? I bet they'd still taste just as good…mmm…**-SUGAR COATED PEANUTS! Gosh! What is WRONG with you people?!?-**

"Salty, sugary…hm…what would they taste like? I wonder…those nuts! So nice…and perfect…"

_Everyone looks slightly perturbed at this last revelation. Aizawa's hands have traveled to his pants where he is protectively covering, um, his 'nuts'…obviously no one knows exactly what to think about L._

"L! Snap out of it! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Oh, nothing Nutty Professor, I mean Ball-san, wait, no…LIGHT!"

**-ok…forget about the peanuts…crap…whatever…yell at me later…well, um…yeah…what has our little L gotten himself into now…?-** Shit. I can't even make an eligible sentence. And there is NO way I can cover up what I just said. Ball-san. Wow. That's…just, well, true I suppose.

"L…are you ok?" _Light asks calmly as he tries to hold back waves of hysteria. He probably found a way to ignore what was just said. L is such a deep shade of red that you would think that all of the blood in his body had rushed to his head. _**–I mean, if that was so, which it is…since that's what I wrote…, of course, then wouldn't he be passed out on the floor?-**

**BAM!**

_-Blackness-_

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So…sorry that it is kinda short…still, I think it got the point across…

Yup…well…um…not too much to say…I think the story speaks for itself!

Next Time: _What does Light think about the whole situation? Will Matsuda ever recover? Will anyone survive?...ok not so much on the last one…_

_Me…:LIGHTSWITCH!..._

_Pineapple-Sister: __**-rolls eyes-**__ that's getting old real fast…_

_Me…: Ok, well I guess that I just have to be more observant from now on…_

_**-looks at a green bike on the edge of the road-**_

_Me…: ORANGE PURPLE!_

_Pineapple-Sister: WHAT?_

_Me…: Hey, I just said the first thing that came to mind…_

REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!...hey how 'bout this…REVIEW!


	8. Mind Wars

So..um…I haven't updated in like forever…trust me I have a reason…I kinda forgot what the story was about…o.O…that was an interesting conversation with my beta…she couldn't remember either…I was like, "hey, wasn't I writing a story?...what was it about anyway?...hey, was it Death Note!...or wait, no…it couldn't be a Death Note story…so what was it?..." we spent like THREE hours trying to figure out what in the world I was writing, when I got bored and started writing a Naruto story…I'm SUCH a loser…

So…thanks to all of my reviewers…and sorry to all of my readers…

Yay!...so on with my newest chapter!...

ok...so I have edited it now...a little bit...just had to change an L to a Light...heehee...a mistake like that REALLY screws up the story...

hey...if you find another mistake, post it and I'll steal one of L's cookies to give to you...o.O...

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_**So…um…this is after Matsuda tells them he likes Light…it's Matsuda's POV…it's not going to be TOO long of a chapter…sorry…**_

"Ugh. I can't believe I told them. I'm…I'm too ashamed to even LOOK at myself…"

_Matsuda is sitting in the bathroom staring at himself in the mirror. He couldn't believe what he had done. It felt as though he had just killed someone. _

I can't deal with this…I CAN'T look at myself!...-BAM!-…

"DAMN!...that hurt…"

Ok…so maybe punching the mirror to shatter the glass wasn't that great of an idea. So maybe I'm not the master of good ideas. But hey, I did manage to find the bathroom without getting lost. But I still have to find my way out of here. I can't just spend the rest of my life in this bathroom. I'll just walk out of here and never return. Never face L again.

"But I love him…"

NO! You can't love him you dummy…He doesn't love you anymore. What am I saying? He NEVER loved you. I need to get out of here…

_So Matsuda takes off down the hallway, and within 3 minutes he is lost within the deep dark hallways of the building. __**–Ok…just a little melodramatic…I suppose…-tear-…I just can't SURVIVE without being melodramatic…-**_

"Yeah…so I take a left at the doorway with that little silver doorknob…hey wait, which door!...eek!...um…well, I guess I'll just retrace my steps…so…I took a left, right, right, left, down the stairs on the right, to the left, left, left, and straight to where I went up the elevator 3 floors, then I went right, right, left, 3rd right, and now I'm lost….or was it right, left, right, right, down the stairs to the LEFT, right, right, right, and down the elevator 4 floors…hm…no…I DON'T REMEMBER!"

…dumbass…

"SHUT UP! I DON'T need your imput! Stupid conscience…did you not learn from Pinochio that you're NOT WANTED!"

_Matsuda continued with his little mental battle as he continued to get even more helplessly lost. I'm not going to even bother describing the battle…who knew that there were so many possible combinations of lefts and rights?..._

"Oh my gosh…I've never been HERE before…or have I?...I dunno… there surely are a lot of awkward looking statues in dark creepy hallways here…L really needs to redecorate. I mean I love the guy and all, but man, he has NO sense of style."

Says you with your bowl cut. And anyhow, the suit you always wear was SO five minutes ago. I mean, if you listened to your conscience a little bit…

"If I listened to my conscience a little bit, I'd be more fruity than the gayest guy in the world…"

wow…what a comeback…who taught you how to speak?...your mother?

"Talk about bad comebacks…"

_**Back in the room…hm…how 'bout Light's POV?...or is that a bit much for us small-brained humans…I'll be kind…L's POV...how 'bout we save the headache for next chapter?...yeah, that sounds nice…**_

…wow…those are some cute little birdies…ouch…why is everything SOOO loud?...and dark…hm…OH NO! DID I GO BLIND?

"AHHHHH! I'M BLIND! SOMEONE SAVE ME! I'M BLIND!"

"Calm down L…you aren't blind. You just passed out…now your mental state? That is something we might want to discuss…"

That voice…it sounds so…familiar…and heavenly…now if only I wasn't blind…

"BUT I'M BLIND! SOMEONE CALL A DOCTOR! Now what was that number…did it start with a 7?...What's the number for 911?"

"Ok…someone needs a little bit of mental attention…#1: YOU ARE NOT BLIND!...you just need to open your eyes…idiot…#2: What the hell was wrong with you earlier? Are you going crazy?...#3:…um…the number for 911 is 911…I thought everyone with a brain knew that…obviously SOMEONE needs an MRI…"

That voice…it is so familiar…who is it?...I think I know who…oh crap…SHIT!...it's…it's…Light!

"LIGHT!"

"Wow…that was fast…Now would you open your eyes? Everyone left because it was clear that we wouldn't get anything done today with you in your mental…state…"

"Why didn't you leave?"

I hope he doesn't decide to leave now that I'm conscious…although I AM blind…

"…wow…did you just seriously ask me why I'm here…ok, shall I recite yet another list? #1: You were unconscious…and no one else wanted to stay here…#2: Seeing as you are in a mental state, we determined it would be unwise to leave you unattended…#3: I wanted to speak to you when you woke up…do you realize what the hell you were saying?...#4:…this is possibly the most obvious one…although, it would be ten times more obvious if you would open your stupid eyes…you are sitting on top of me…when you passed out, you fell on top of me, and you are surprisingly heavy for someone who feeds on only small amounts of sugar…"

So that would explain the squishy, yet firm, bed that I'm on…hm…I wonder how long I have been on top of him?

"When did I pass out?"

"Three hours ago…Every muscle in my body is cramped and asleep…Now open your eyes and get off of me!"

Open my eyes? They ARE open…I'm BLIND!

"But I'm blind…I have my eyes open! Why must you insist upon me 'opening' my eyes?"

"Gosh, we are getting NO where…I really do want to go home soon. It's three in the morning…"

"Fine."

I don't want to move, but I have to make my love happy…

BEEP

"L, Matsuda is wondering through the left wing of the building, clearly lost. Would you like me to retrieve him?"

"Huh? Matsuda?...MATSUDA!...bring him here so I can ki--talk to him…"

"Yes, L…right away."

BEEP

"Um, L…can you let go of my leg? You're cutting off my circulation…"

"Fine…call a doctor…I'm blind still…"

"OPEN YOUR EYES!"

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Sorry if it was confusing…I'm sure it is, because I am severely confused…Matsuda's inner battle is amazing…I can't tell you how many of those I have…Probably the biggest standing joke with my friends is the fact that I have 97 personalities…except 27 of them have been brutally murdered due to annoying marching band practices…o.O…

Ok...so funny story...I would have put this on fanfiction like 7 hours ago, but the internet was down on my laptop...depressing isn't it?...

So…um…yah…

_Pineapple-Sister: What are you doing?_

_did you say lightswitch: I'm thinking…_

_Pineapple-Sister: Oh…I see…that explains the constipated look on your face…so what are you thinking about…_

_did you say lightswitch: ways to kill and/or silence you…so far I have 157…wait make that 158…_

Aw…I love that child…she's my best friend, and we are brutally honest with each other…that would mean 99 percent of our comments are cruel insults that to anyone else would be evil and painfully mean…

Next Time: _Are you ready to be confused? It's time for Light's POV! WOOT WOOT!_


	9. Raining Bananas

It has been almost a year since this has been updated, and I must apologize

It has been almost a year since this has been updated, and I must apologize. I am not quite as intrigued by updating as I originally was, however, this story has once again sparked my interest and I hope that this update leads to several more in the next month or so.

Once again I forgot the plot line of this story, so I actually sat down and read the entire thing again. I was hooked…it's like a little kid on Christmas when I read something that entertains me. Funny thing is that it's from my OWN mind but still manages to be surprisingly refreshing for me. I love that feeling.

So I suppose I will begin the latest installment of OMG! I lost my shoe. Enjoy!

_**Last Time:**_

"…wow…did you just seriously ask me why I'm here…ok, shall I recite yet another list? #1: You were unconscious…and no one else wanted to stay here…#2: Seeing as you are in a mental state, we determined it would be unwise to leave you unattended…#3: I wanted to speak to you when you woke up…do you realize what the hell you were saying?...#4:…this is possibly the most obvious one…although, it would be ten times more obvious if you would open your stupid eyes…you are sitting on top of me…when you passed out, you fell on top of me, and you are surprisingly heavy for someone who feeds on only small amounts of sugar…"

So that would explain the squishy, yet firm, bed that I'm on…hm…I wonder how long I have been on top of him?

"When did I pass out?"

"Three hours ago…Every muscle in my body is cramped and asleep…Now open your eyes and get off of me!"

Open my eyes? They ARE open…I'm BLIND!

"But I'm blind…I have my eyes open! Why must you insist upon me 'opening' my eyes?"

"Gosh, we are getting NO where…I really do want to go home soon. It's three in the morning…"

"Fine."

I don't want to move, but I have to make my love happy…

BEEP

"L, Matsuda is wondering through the left wing of the building, clearly lost. Would you like me to retrieve him?"

"Huh? Matsuda?...MATSUDA!...bring him here so I can ki--talk to him…"

"Yes, L…right away."

BEEP

"Um, L…can you let go of my leg? You're cutting off my circulation…"

"Fine…call a doctor…I'm blind still…"

"OPEN YOUR EYES!"

_**L's Point of View…**_

Where could Matsuda be? I remember specifically requesting his presence…Whatever though…he probably got scared and wimped out. I'd be scared too if I tried to steal MY man…yes, he's MINE. Just like cake. I don't share anything, and failed kindergarten miserably. Matsuda will be punished for making me wait…although he did leave me with my love…in a rather compromising position…

_**Light's Point of View**_

Finally I managed to get that mentally incapacitated loser off of me. Frankly, he needs to go on a diet. I swear he weighed the same as a hippopotamus whose paternity can be attested to an elephant. My legs have lost all function and circulation is currently a joke. Not only is all of this an issue, I am now officially 5 hours behind curfew. That is yet another excuse I need to formulate for my parents. What am I supposed to say I was doing? Being held hostage by an unconscious asylum escapee? Actually, that may be ridiculous enough to work…

How in the world we sat there for an extra 20 minutes arguing about blindness and the incompetence of Matsuda. I am furious that he didn't return to the room after L ordered his presence. It kept me locked in a room with a stalker and a mentally incapacitated sugar addicted freak. What did I do to deserve this? I've only killed a handful of people, and it's not like they didn't deserve it…

Luckily I managed to convince L to release me for the night. After arguing the insinuations of him being unconscious on top of me for three hours and that I wouldn't think twice about filing charges of sexual harassment, which wouldn't be questioned with our chained state, he released my poor, captive arm.

"You don't seem to be in as much pain as you are letting on. Is there a reason beyond your dramatics?" Ryuuku never ceases to aggravate me.

"You mustn't commit yourself to asking me such fruitless questions. I, unlike the imbeciles I have become associated with, confide in my secrecy." This was partially true. I do indeed enjoy my privacy, but I also tend to say more than I should. For example, the little episode during the game of truth and dare was a little too honest for my own good. No one can know my inner thoughts or feelings…

Matsuda's confession of his love is quite unsettling. All this time that I've known L was slightly (quite an understatement) obsessed with me is unmatched with this declaration. I have no clue how to approach it. Should I just do the obvious and tell him off? Yes, that sounds appropriate…**-are we going to find out Light's sexual preference? Of course not…I'm not THAT kind…-**

_**L's Point of View…**_

HE SHALL BE THE END OF ME!!

I paced my room back and forth constantly snacking on a giant Butterfinger. How in the world does he, being Matsuda, think that he can walk in here and steal MY Light!? He can't. Won't happen. Nadda. Zilch. IMPOSSIBLE.

And now Light is putting restrictions on my eating habits. I'm only allowed to have 2 pounds of sugar a day, and even less if I don't eat the stack of carrots he has set on my desk. I can't give up my sugar. NOOOOO!! It has been 2 hours of small amounts of sugar, being in the form of 5 giant Butterfingers, three full size birthday cakes, and a massive bar of Hershey's chocolate. I'm going through withdrawal already. I tasted one of those ridiculous things Light gave me to eat, and I think it gave me a seizure. Or maybe just massive amounts of spasming on the floor.

Squirrels. I shall kill every single one of them, fry them up, and force feed them to the creators of these disgusting things called carrots. If only the internet was more resourceful. It claims that there isn't a creator of carrots…what a lie. I know for a fact that everything is created by SOMEONE. Otherwise it would be healthy food that grows in the ground. Of all the ridiculous notions…

I can deal with it though. I can get through this. I need to go find more sugar…forget about it. I WILL NOT GIVE IN TO TEMPTATION. Okay, so the password to my cake room…

_Phone rings... "You have reached the voicemail of L. If you are calling about information on the Kira case, I regret to inform you that no information shall be released to anyone outside of the case. If you are on the inside, then too bad. I'm currently indisposed. Don't leave a message…I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN! However, if you are calling to help plot the demise of all squirrels, leave a message. The beep will now occur…"_

CAKE!! Mwahahahahaha. He will never infiltrate my endless supply of sugar! And my fool proof security system can keep out even the smartest of all intruders…like those damn squirrels.

"L. If you didn't realize it, you've been talking to yourself for the last hour and a half. I would understand if the conversation was perhaps one that could be followed, but rambling about cake and squirrels isn't a healthy obsession." Light…what was he doing here? And more importantly, HOW DID HE GET INTO MY CAKE ROOM??

"Easily. Since your security system is just a code on the door…and your code is 1234…"

"NOOOOO!! HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO BREAK THE CODE! I used the most complex use of reverse psychology to determine that the most obvious code would be the least obvious one to figure out…HOW DID YOU DO IT?!" Light gave me a look…one of utter disdain and my heart dropped.

"You are a mystery to me L…"

"I'm a mystery to everyone…" I chose that moment to move in closer to him, my cake in my hand…

Mmm…a little insight into Light's mind. Hopefully we will see more of that in the next chapter…

There isn't a conversation for this one between me and my lovely beta. I must apologize for that one since this chapter hasn't been touched by her at all…it is a surprise for us all!

Reviews are my cake, and flames are used for smores. Please review! FLAMES ARE WANTED AS WELL!! Hahaha.


	10. Cake Disaster

Okay. The review I received on the last chapter pushed me to update. Nothing was going to stop me once I had an idea in my head.

Kudos to ItsukoLawliet for pushing me to update with your kind review(s). The one on Auditions made me smile as well--that one is my driver's ed crack baby. Haha.

Urgh. I have adopted a new pet peeve...Every time I add a document on here, the computer automatically adds an extra line on the top with half of the first line. It is so obnoxious when you are reading a story, or even when you are just updating one. It is ridiculous...but oh well...it's the computer.

Once again, this isn't beta'd. Please tell me if you find any errors…

--

_**L's Point of View**_

"NOOOOO!! HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO BREAK THE CODE! I used the most complex use of reverse psychology to determine that the most obvious code would be the least obvious one to figure out…HOW DID YOU DO IT?!" Light gave me a look…one of utter disdain and my heart dropped.

"You are a mystery to me L…"

"I'm a mystery to everyone…" I chose that moment to move in closer to him, my cake in my hand.

"And I wouldn't have it any other way…" Light walked right up to me, pressing me against the wall. My heart got caught in my throat as he stared into my eyes. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you L…"

"And what would that be?" I could hardly speak and my words were coming out in little stringlets that didn't sound like me in the least. There wasn't a bit of sugar rush left in me, and I seriously felt that I was about to collapse.

"Ah, that's for me to know…" he moved closer to me "…and for you to wait to find out." This made no sense to me. He was so out of character, but then again, so was I. What was going on? Had the squirrels manage to infiltrate the helium supply and somehow spread it throughout the building?

"L, I am your father." Light's voice came out in a high pitched squeak from the helium, of course, and his eyes lit up at the joke he had made. It must be the helium…where else would this be coming from?

The thing is, nothing seemed right. Weren't we in my cake room a moment ago? How did we end up in the hallway? It was beyond me…perhaps we had floated. Yes, that's it. Light and I floated subconsciously into the hallway, where we were poisoned by helium, and thus the change in our behavior.

But wouldn't I have noticed the floating? Perhaps the helium poisoning occurred while we were in the cake room. Oh no!! MY CAKE IS IN DANGER!

I escaped the tight space I was in between the wall and Light and ran towards my cake. Fear ripped through me, and I hardly noticed the swarms of squirrels following me…

"MY CAKE! MY LOVE! ARE YOU OKAY?!" I burst into the room and saw, to my chagrin, hundreds of squirrels snacking on the remains of my precious cake.

"My precioussss…" I hissed, snatching a tiny chunk from the closest squirrel, cradling it in my arms. Icing smeared across me, but I could care less. I had to protect it. One of the squirrels smirked at me then opened its mouth to say "fork over them goods 'fore I cut you." Before I could argue that it was MINE, I was surrounded by squirrels. Each of them was armed with rather large and intimidating switch blades.

"YOU WILL NOT GET THIS CAKE. YOU WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME FIRST!!" I took off running with my cake in tow. Squirrels swarmed behind me, but I was faster than them--years of consuming only sugar was beginning to come into effect, and I was met with an insane amount of energy.

I ran through the halls of the building, making my way through the maze of turns and narrowly missing poorly placed columns. The exit was right there…I could make it…

"L. I do believe you forgot somebody…" I stopped in my tracks and turned to look at my love. He was leaning rather suggestively against a wall with a slight smile on his face. I glanced back and forth between him, my cake, and the damn squirrels that were gathering around us…what was more important to me? Cake. Or Light?

I'm only human. I looked at the squirrels once more, then took off running towards the doors with my cake in tow. NOTHING WOULD TAKE MY ONE TRUE LOVE FROM ME!! Mwahahahahaha.

The streets were crowded, and everything seemed to be against me. Trees cut off my path, and people seemed to stop in there tracks, just so I'd have to dodge them. The squirrels were gaining on me, and my energy was running out. I had no choice--the cake would have to be left behind if I was to escape alive. I gently kissed the cake, and dropped it amidst the crowd of approaching squirrels.

Tearfully, I made my way back to the building. Sunlight was burning my sensitive, unexposed eyes, and people were staring at me. Can't they mind their own business and leave a fellow to mourn for his cake?

At least I'd have Light there when I got back. I grinned wildly like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. He had something to tell me…

I couldn't find him anywhere…I searched all the walls and my (now empty) cake room, but he wasn't there. Where else would a person be? If I was looking for myself, the cake room would be the only feasible option.

Miserable now since I had not only lost my cake, but now Light as well, I made my way towards our conference room.

"Okay…you MUST have a better idea for a game, Matsuda." Aizawa's voice echoed through the door. Games? Who would be playing games at such a time? My CAKE was dead!!

"It's simple. All you do is spin this bottle and kiss the person it lands on…" Matsuda. I hate him.

"In case you haven't noticed, we're all MALE." Light. So he IS in there…

"I'm not." Misa. I thought she left…

"What the hell are you doing here? I told you I despised you, and you dare to return?" Light. Gunshots. What could've happened?

"Spin it Light."

"Matsuda…I think it landed on you…"

"Well then I suppose we have to kiss…"

"I guess so…" -silence-

"NOOOOOO!!" I burst through the door as Light leaned into Matsuda. Their lips touched slightly, and just when I thought they'd pull away, Matsuda turned his head. Leaning deeper into the kiss, Light reached out and put his hands on the back of Matsuda's head.

I thought I was dying. This couldn't be happening. IMPOSSIBLE.

They pulled apart and Light turned to look at me. He grinned his usual sadistic grin.

"Oh yeah, L. I almost forgot to tell you…What I was hinting towards earlier was that _I'm in love with Matsuda._"

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Mmmm…we weren't expecting that now were we? Of course not…tis what I like to call a plot twist (:

Yes, I know I'm evil cutting off where I did…don't worry, all of it will make sense next chapter…which I plan to update on Sunday I think. Depends though. I'm preparing for a piano performance on Wednesday, and by preparing, I mean I pulled out 3 new songs yesterday that have yet to be perfected. Haha. I am truly psychotic.

So yes. I was kind enough to update twice in one day, so I'm expecting lots of reviews…

As always…flames are more than welcome…


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